Creative Writing for oil paintings in the art gallery.
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White
Nude
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"OH THING OF BEAUTY
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I had known for some time that the student art show was approaching, and had meant
to use it as an impetus to break out the paint and create some fresh works. But my
studies genuinely kept me from carrying out my conviction. I ultimately decided that doing a few paintings was just as important as studying the federal revenue code, and proceeded to whip out three paintings in the course of as many days. However, the paint on these canvasses did not have time to dry by the weekend, and I found myself gingerly carrying them over to the quad for the art show. It was a pretty well attended show, mainly with works from the women's college, which had a rich artistic tradition. The paintings were to be judged by a panel of local notables in the art community; including art professors, an art critic from the Times-Picayune and a representative from the city's art museum. The first prize winner was to receive $100 and have his or her painting shown at the public museum for the rest of the spring--a tasty prize to me, who had never been in any art show before. After several hours of standing at my booth I ventured off to view the other works. I was astonished, really. I honestly concluded that my works, and this one in particular, were better than the others. This is not to say that there were not some very respectable works done by talented artists; but the others all had an amateur look to them that was quite evident to me. And so I fell into the trap that one must always avoid, of beginning to get your hopes up of winning something. The winners were not announced until late in the afternoon, which meant I had an entire afternoon of deluding myself that I might actually take first place. The results were even worse than expected. I could not believe the painting that took first place. It was a still-life of a wine bottle and some fruit, painted in a somewhat painterly fashion, but quite amateurish, and with no style. I tried to find solace in the fact that one of my paintings did at least take third place (Columbus Circle). At the end of the day I found myself clumsily carrying off my goods, trying to make sense out of the day. Perhaps this proved that art critics are not absolute authorities and we should not let our art (or our emotions) be controlled by them. Or perhaps this demonstrated that art is inherently a subjective medium and we, as artists, must recognize and respect all views and tastes. The paintings, still wet with fresh paint, proved too much of a load, and I spilled them to the ground. This one fell face down onto a small heap of dirt and shredded gravel. The painting was covered, and there was no way to extract the numerous particles that scattered the surface of the painting. This was surely an appropriate end to this day. Once back in my dorm room, I hung the painting on the wall to dry and to protect it from further havoc. Viewing the painting in this light, I suddenly realized how much I liked the effect of the earthen particles. It gave the painting texture and depth, and helped soften a perhaps overly glossy surface. I have been purposely dropping paintings onto the ground ever since.
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Torso |
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PLEASE NOTE I met her at the Big Boy Restaurant on South 76th Street. She was one of the newer waitresses (and not one of the better ones) and so she worked the counter, where I typically sat. Some of the other girls were friendly enough with me, but she was especially friendly and seemed to make an effort to spend time talking with me as I ate. She was fairly tall and lean, with thin brown hair that brushed atop rigid shoulders. Though cute enough, she presented herself someone awkwardly, with disheveled work clothes and a rumpled bra that made me wonder whether or not her breasts were real. She was strangely forthright about various personal matters and, in particular, discussed her condition of self-mutilation. She showed me the scars on her wrists and forearms where she had routinely cut and disfigured herself with various sharp and blunt objects. "Why do you do that?" I calmly asked. "It makes me feel better," she responded. "Okay . . ." I thought to myself, "This girl is really mixed up." But it didn't matter to me, for I enjoyed her company and, I must admit, found myself attracted to her. I suggested we get together some time. She seemed quite open to the idea and suggested we get together for breakfast. We met for breakfast at the Golden Basket, a friendly, modest Greek diner on the southwest side. She seemed especially perky and mischievous on this morning. "You're certainly in a good mood today," I remarked. "I should be," she replied, "I took a whole handful of my pills this morning." "I feel like I could fly," she quipped, flapping her arms. She kept laughing and giggling as we waited for our food. Our food arrived and I began to prepare for its consumption, but then started, as I unexpectedly felt something on my thigh. It was her foot (shoeless), which ultimately found its way to my privates. I looked up and found her smiling and giggling. Not saying anything I grabbed her foot and gave it a quick run with my finger. Reflexively, she pulled back quickly, her knee loudly knocking the bottom of our table and rattling the plates. She giggled some more as other restaurant patrons glanced our way. By that time it was clear that neither of us were particularly interested in our food and we decided to leave the place. We went back to my studio apartment located in the Marquette area where I was subletting for the summer. It was a small, dark affair with one lone window looking upon the dark back side of a large adjacent apartment building housed with students. I used the small kitchenette as a place to paint. Self Portrait sat in the easel, still freshly painted. I showed her the painting. "That's nice," she said. But I knew she wasn't interested. It was not long before we found ourselves on the bed, kissing. She wasted no time in taking off her clothes, but only took off one pant leg, for, as she explained, she had to be to work soon and wanted to save time. This struck me as odd, but did not deter me from the natural course of events. She was a strange animal alright-- remarkably dispassionate and having a disturbing propensity to purposely knock me in the groin with her leg. Clearly, her condition compelled her to hurt others, as well as herself. This behavior, combined with a half-erect sex organ, made for a uniquely unsatisfying experience. She quickly reclad herself and made for the door. "We need to go, or else I'll be late." I finished putting on my clothes and exited the room. Only Self Portrait was left looking over the scene, its silent, brooding, piercing eyes attempting to discern the meaning, if any, of this strange encounter.
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Self Portrait Oil on Paint Board |
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Unfinished Boats
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Having
successfully completed a painting during my period of convalescence (Boats), I
decided to try to continue painting, in the hopes that it might help improve my condition,
and that I might continue to feel productive. I again pulled out my calendar of boats and other water scenes and found this lovely harbor view. I felt particularly bad on the morning of this painting and it was like torture to set up the paint and canvas and engage in all the simple tasks involved with this process. I was compelled to quit and hope for a better day for completing the work. The painting sat unfinished on its easel in my kitchen for over two years, waiting to be finished. It became an accepted part of my household furnishings, standing by the hutch next to the pile of Sunday newspapers, and drawing comments from the few visitors to my home. I finally gave up on the idea of completing the painting and took it and the easel into my basement for storage. It still rests upon the easel, hidden in darkness, leaning upon a pile of garment bags, waiting for the possibe hour of its completion.
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